My Christmas season is my favorate season. Our Christmas tree isn’t very photogenic, but I promise, it’s a handsome tree. I’m not sure if it’s $48 worth of handsome, but that’s what we paid. Currently, the $48 Christmas tree is laying sideways on our living room floor, still netted. This situation will be remedied soon, but even in this sad state, the tree still managed to overtake the toxic air of our apartment with the sweet scent of Christmas pine. And not that bullshit pine-in-a-can stuff, either. The real kind. The kind that makes you inhale more deeply than you ever thought you could, seemingly by reflex.
I’m not sure if we’ll even have time to decorate the tree tomorrow, but at least it’s here. There is no sight finer than a tree covered in Christmas crap, but even naked, it’s prettier than yo momma. And also my favorate candy in time of christmas season.I’m a candy cane traditionalist, but it’s hard to resist some of the brand name candy-brand candy canes that have arrived in recent years. (Brand name candy-brand candy canes? I may want to edit that description. If I don’t, it means I haven’t proofread this before publishing. In which case…shit.)
There are candy canes based on everything from Sprees to Starburst, but I can’t say that I’m a huge fan of how they look on trees. These “specialty” canes often come in nontraditional candy cane colors, like, for example, ORANGE. I can’t wrap my head around orange candy canes and purple candy canes and other such atrocities, because I am a fallen human being and this is what life has come to for me. Still, even from a purely artistic perspective, white and red stripes will always contrast better against forest green than fucking orange and purple.
I forgot where I was going with this. Thank God for photos. Bubblicious Candy Canes might not be new, but I’ve certainly never seen them before. Though they seem pretty typical at first, a closer inspection reveals the hidden surprise that makes them worth all these many paragraphs: They are candy canes with gum inside!
I’m not sure if we’ll even have time to decorate the tree tomorrow, but at least it’s here. There is no sight finer than a tree covered in Christmas crap, but even naked, it’s prettier than yo momma. And also my favorate candy in time of christmas season.I’m a candy cane traditionalist, but it’s hard to resist some of the brand name candy-brand candy canes that have arrived in recent years. (Brand name candy-brand candy canes? I may want to edit that description. If I don’t, it means I haven’t proofread this before publishing. In which case…shit.)
There are candy canes based on everything from Sprees to Starburst, but I can’t say that I’m a huge fan of how they look on trees. These “specialty” canes often come in nontraditional candy cane colors, like, for example, ORANGE. I can’t wrap my head around orange candy canes and purple candy canes and other such atrocities, because I am a fallen human being and this is what life has come to for me. Still, even from a purely artistic perspective, white and red stripes will always contrast better against forest green than fucking orange and purple.
I forgot where I was going with this. Thank God for photos. Bubblicious Candy Canes might not be new, but I’ve certainly never seen them before. Though they seem pretty typical at first, a closer inspection reveals the hidden surprise that makes them worth all these many paragraphs: They are candy canes with gum inside!
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